Bakersfield, December '82
Look around. Look at the singer and his band. Look at the other hulking things with their bad tattoos leaning against the walls and know that this is not what you believed it would be. Feel your mistake like a steel-toe to the chest. Decide, anyway, not to cower. Put your mind to it. You will do this, and you will be good at it. You will give up to the outside everything on your inside. You will reverse your skin like a sweater pulled over your head. You will show her, them, all of them, every last one of them, how human you are. You will force them to see that you are exactly the same. You will. Decide, first, that you need another drink (4).
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Now, that is an introduction. The first time that I picked up Pretty Little Dirty by Amanda Boyden at my university's bookstore, I saw the cover and was interested. I read that introduction and was hooked. I had never heard of Boyden, knew nothing about the 80s music scene and had no idea what I was about to get myself into. But from that first paragraph on, I couldn't put this book down. Despite the introduction's setting and focus, this novel isn't just about music. It is an epic about art, friendship, growing up, and the self-destructive impulses that all teenage girls have (Trust me, I used to be one). The narrator of this story is Lisa Smith, a pretty, petite, bright girl, coming-of-age in 1970s Kansas City. But from the first line of Chapter One, we know that this story isn't just about her. In fact, we don't even learn Lisa's name until the eighth page. The first name that we learn is that of her best friend, Celeste Diamond, and the first chapter is about how they met. The novel opens this way because from that moment on, Lisa and Celeste are a team, a partnership, a dynamic duo, and this book is their story. They go from being twelve-year-olds attending summer camp, to twenty-one-year-olds soaking in the hardcore California music scene. This book details their journey from girls in jazz class to women in steel-toe boots. It's about privilege and choices, music and love. It's about your best friend and mine. This book is about the life that you wish you had the guts to choose and it mattters.
On the surface, the two girls could not be more different. Celeste is beautiful, brilliant, and popular immediately. Lisa is cute and sharp, but feels average when compared to her best friend. Celeste's home is huge and filled to the brim with laughter. It contains two funny, able-bodied parents who shower their three daughters with love. They consider family dinner to be a daily need, not a holiday treat. Lisa's home, on the other hand, is dark and quiet, and her parents are less than personable. So Celeste brings Lisa into her world, more than willing to share her happy home and beautiful life with her new best friend. This willingness to share everything from parents, to beds, to boys is a sentiment that I understand. My best friend is my soul mate, my left arm, my person, and I don't know what I would do without her. I relate a lot to Lisa, Celeste and their friendship. In fact, my bestie and I both do because yes, I made her read this book too. In fact, when I finished it for the first time I immediately went online, bought another copy and sent it to her. She loved it as much as I did. This is one of the biggest reasons why this book matters, because the friendship within it is so real and relatable. But, I'll get to that later.
Lisa and Celeste become like sisters, partners in crime, the ring-leaders of their group of friends, two young girls in matching red coats. After they meet, they attend and survive their first co-ed summer camp experience, their first game of spin-the-bottle, and their first crushes that actually crush them. After camp comes junior high, the most uncomfortable time in any girl's life. But Celeste and Lisa face the awkwardness together, which makes dealing with new boobs and new boys a lot easier. High school is better time for them, and a New Year's Eve party freshman year sets the stage for their entrance into high school notoriety. That year passes quickly and happily, as does sophomore year, which Lisa sums up as, "a sickly-sweet and nearly perfect dream for the two of us Renaissance women" (99).
The summer before junior year, the girls are exposed to the art world of Kansas City and fall in love with both the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art and the art students who work there. They spend the summer at the museum, flirting and taking in the artwork adorning the museum walls. Little did they know that this summer would actually mark a time when how they looked at their lives changed drastically. They are exposed to freedom and rebellion and the need for exciting experiences fluttered in their hearts as they got lost in the art. The novel uses a slightly-disjointed timeline, in which events do not always appear in chronological order. I think that this reflects Lisa and Celeste's need to escape the established norm of their lives, and these visits to the museum sparks that need. So do some events during junior year that regard Lisa's already absent mother, but I'll let you learn about those on your own. I can't tell you everything ;)
Once junior year is over, Lisa and Celeste embrace the carefree lifestyle they had so enjoyed the summer before. The girls are happy to return to the Nelson-Atkins but this time, the men they meet there are far more interesting than the art. Celeste falls for Hank, a teacher at the Art Institute in Kansas City, and Lisa, quite conveniently, falls for his young protege, Ess. They are drawn to where Hank lives, dubbed the "sculpture house", as the grounds surrounding the large home hold most of the Institute's collection of marble art work. The girls wander around the yard and feel the passion of this place seep into them. They are reminded, yet again, that art and freedom are synonymous. That summer changes them, and they return to high school for senior year feeling like outcasts in their own group of popular friends. They participate in pranks and go to dances, but they just do it because it is expected of them, and because it temporarily alleviates the boredom. "We were too old there now," Lisa says, "and yet, too young for Hank's, too young for the Art Institute crowd to take us in completely. We were displaced by our desires, our own doing, and we suffered for it" (231). The girls' desire for freedom is too strong, and they soon realize that they can't stay away from the sculpture house, or the men who dwell there. So, Lisa and Celeste spend most of their senior year among the statues, the only place where they feel that they belong.
Celeste and Lisa leave for college excited about the promise of freedom, education and new ideas that are always thought to be associated with higher learning. But they instead find a facade, an illusion of adulthood that is still fenced-in by the need to choose a "useful" major and the pressure to receive good grades within that major. Lisa wanted original thought and passionate art, but instead gets rehearsed speeches by TA's. Celeste's experience is the same, compounded by a lack of experienced men in the vicinity. So little by little, the girls reach their breaking point, throw up their hands and decide that there has got to be more than this. This decision changes their lives, uproots them to California and makes them a permanent fixture on the hardcore music scene developing there. "I could never exactly explain it," Lisa says. "Our decision to go where we did, that is. You can't, really. Explain it. You try" (370)
The women thrive like flowers on cacti, beautiful but surrounded by thorns. Their specific experiences I will leave you to read for yourselves, because honestly, they are much more powerful when read in full, rather than explained in a few short sentences by a blogger. They touch you more that way too, because you see the bravery of these two women firsthand, and the strength it took to do what they did. And this inner strength, this bravery, is the first reason why this novel matters. These two women, barely eighteen years old, have the guts to forsake the beaten path of college and dive into life head first, without fear. Lisa and Celeste want to see what the world has to offer and refuse wait for the experiences to come to them. They just need something new; pleasure or pain, it doesn't matter. Lisa explains it in her own words, a statement that resonates with the deep desire for freedom we have all felt at one point or another. "I had been a younger somebody interested in being able to speak from experience before I said anything. I wanted to know what I would be judging. Bring on the drugs, I had said... Bring on the poverty. Jesus, I'd grown up so privileged, it was pathetic. Bring on the dark side. Try to kill the meat you eat" (370). These girls face the darkness, face life, without hesitation and that is a kind of strength anyone can admire.
The way that this novel is structured keeps the pace fluid and the reader interested, as the timeline eventually brings you up to the present day and the chapters are separated by anecdotes of Lisa's experiences at hardcore concerts in California. These inserts may not seem important, but in reality they are the second reason why this novel matters. The first insert, as you have seen, is about a Black Flag show in which Lisa decides to show the world that she is made of tougher stuff than anyone would guess, stronger than anyone thinks. After tales of Social Distortion, Butthole Surfers and Circle Jerks, come The Skulls. After that show, Lisa knows the power that she wields over boys and men and invites all women to "Feel your might" (118). After The Skulls come the Dead Kennedys, and after them comes Sonic Youth. The Violent Femmes make Lisa feel raw, sober, and at that moment she knows that she needs more something and goes searching for it. More popular groups like Red Hot Chili Peppers, D.O.A. and Bad Religion make an appearance, as Lisa and Celeste fight their way from mosh pit to mosh pit, living on keg beer and desire. Because that was all these girls needed, music and each other. It fed them, kept them sane, gave them a reason to journey down the road not taken. What they did may be seen as immature, or a waste of all the time and effort spent on their educations, but this music gave these girls meaning and freedom and these inserts show that. In the final section Lisa reports from a Sex Pistols concert in London, 1977. She is never actually at the show, but for a moment she feels that she is. "And for a few seconds," she writes, "the room, in its unity, fills up with unadulterated joy. Only joy" (415).
The third and final reason why this novel matters is the friendship between Lisa and Celeste. I have already mentioned this, but now it is time to explain why a fictitious relationship between two people who don't actually exist is the most important reason why this novel needs to be read. I can sum it up in two words: unconditional love. Lisa and Celeste do not have a perfect friendship; they have disagreements, hurt feelings and jealousies. But what they do have is a love for each other that is so pure and so strong that it easily withstands those little problems and unites them together against bigger ones. It truly is Lisa and Celeste versus the world. Because from the first day they met it was decided, a duet they would be. And when the time came to drop their old lives and create new ones, it was done in tandem, without hesitation. They didn't need money, education, or a plan. They had each other and that was enough. Because life is full of ups and downs, disappointments and failures, but with a true friend by your side it is possible to get through anything, go anywhere, and live without regrets. Lisa states that Celeste is the only one she loves for sure, "without reservation" and that is a sentiment anyone can relate to if their best friend is their partner, their soul mate, their Celeste (318). Mine certainly is.
Pretty Little Dirty by Amanda Boyden contains sex, drugs, mistakes, and doesn't apologize for it. It tells the truth about seeking freedom through self-destruction, shows women living in a world of their own making. It is a middle finger to every person who told you to color inside the lines, and that the prettiest girls are your greatest competition. And while you may not agree with the actions of these two women, know that what they did isn't the point. It's the fact that they did something. They decided that their lives would be created by their choices, not the choices of others, and that there was more out there than what they had been brought up with. Lisa and Celeste chose what shaped them, changed them, and they did it together, side by side, a duo until the very end. This novel shows a friendship strong enough to withstand mosh pits, and bravery powerful enough to support a cross-country move. It is about having the guts to take your life into your own hands and that is why it matters.
Boyden, Amanda. Pretty Little Dirty. New York: Vintage Books (A Division of Random House, Inc.), 2006. 4, 99, 118, 231, 318, 370, 415. Print.
On the surface, the two girls could not be more different. Celeste is beautiful, brilliant, and popular immediately. Lisa is cute and sharp, but feels average when compared to her best friend. Celeste's home is huge and filled to the brim with laughter. It contains two funny, able-bodied parents who shower their three daughters with love. They consider family dinner to be a daily need, not a holiday treat. Lisa's home, on the other hand, is dark and quiet, and her parents are less than personable. So Celeste brings Lisa into her world, more than willing to share her happy home and beautiful life with her new best friend. This willingness to share everything from parents, to beds, to boys is a sentiment that I understand. My best friend is my soul mate, my left arm, my person, and I don't know what I would do without her. I relate a lot to Lisa, Celeste and their friendship. In fact, my bestie and I both do because yes, I made her read this book too. In fact, when I finished it for the first time I immediately went online, bought another copy and sent it to her. She loved it as much as I did. This is one of the biggest reasons why this book matters, because the friendship within it is so real and relatable. But, I'll get to that later.
Lisa and Celeste become like sisters, partners in crime, the ring-leaders of their group of friends, two young girls in matching red coats. After they meet, they attend and survive their first co-ed summer camp experience, their first game of spin-the-bottle, and their first crushes that actually crush them. After camp comes junior high, the most uncomfortable time in any girl's life. But Celeste and Lisa face the awkwardness together, which makes dealing with new boobs and new boys a lot easier. High school is better time for them, and a New Year's Eve party freshman year sets the stage for their entrance into high school notoriety. That year passes quickly and happily, as does sophomore year, which Lisa sums up as, "a sickly-sweet and nearly perfect dream for the two of us Renaissance women" (99).
The summer before junior year, the girls are exposed to the art world of Kansas City and fall in love with both the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art and the art students who work there. They spend the summer at the museum, flirting and taking in the artwork adorning the museum walls. Little did they know that this summer would actually mark a time when how they looked at their lives changed drastically. They are exposed to freedom and rebellion and the need for exciting experiences fluttered in their hearts as they got lost in the art. The novel uses a slightly-disjointed timeline, in which events do not always appear in chronological order. I think that this reflects Lisa and Celeste's need to escape the established norm of their lives, and these visits to the museum sparks that need. So do some events during junior year that regard Lisa's already absent mother, but I'll let you learn about those on your own. I can't tell you everything ;)
Once junior year is over, Lisa and Celeste embrace the carefree lifestyle they had so enjoyed the summer before. The girls are happy to return to the Nelson-Atkins but this time, the men they meet there are far more interesting than the art. Celeste falls for Hank, a teacher at the Art Institute in Kansas City, and Lisa, quite conveniently, falls for his young protege, Ess. They are drawn to where Hank lives, dubbed the "sculpture house", as the grounds surrounding the large home hold most of the Institute's collection of marble art work. The girls wander around the yard and feel the passion of this place seep into them. They are reminded, yet again, that art and freedom are synonymous. That summer changes them, and they return to high school for senior year feeling like outcasts in their own group of popular friends. They participate in pranks and go to dances, but they just do it because it is expected of them, and because it temporarily alleviates the boredom. "We were too old there now," Lisa says, "and yet, too young for Hank's, too young for the Art Institute crowd to take us in completely. We were displaced by our desires, our own doing, and we suffered for it" (231). The girls' desire for freedom is too strong, and they soon realize that they can't stay away from the sculpture house, or the men who dwell there. So, Lisa and Celeste spend most of their senior year among the statues, the only place where they feel that they belong.
Celeste and Lisa leave for college excited about the promise of freedom, education and new ideas that are always thought to be associated with higher learning. But they instead find a facade, an illusion of adulthood that is still fenced-in by the need to choose a "useful" major and the pressure to receive good grades within that major. Lisa wanted original thought and passionate art, but instead gets rehearsed speeches by TA's. Celeste's experience is the same, compounded by a lack of experienced men in the vicinity. So little by little, the girls reach their breaking point, throw up their hands and decide that there has got to be more than this. This decision changes their lives, uproots them to California and makes them a permanent fixture on the hardcore music scene developing there. "I could never exactly explain it," Lisa says. "Our decision to go where we did, that is. You can't, really. Explain it. You try" (370)
The women thrive like flowers on cacti, beautiful but surrounded by thorns. Their specific experiences I will leave you to read for yourselves, because honestly, they are much more powerful when read in full, rather than explained in a few short sentences by a blogger. They touch you more that way too, because you see the bravery of these two women firsthand, and the strength it took to do what they did. And this inner strength, this bravery, is the first reason why this novel matters. These two women, barely eighteen years old, have the guts to forsake the beaten path of college and dive into life head first, without fear. Lisa and Celeste want to see what the world has to offer and refuse wait for the experiences to come to them. They just need something new; pleasure or pain, it doesn't matter. Lisa explains it in her own words, a statement that resonates with the deep desire for freedom we have all felt at one point or another. "I had been a younger somebody interested in being able to speak from experience before I said anything. I wanted to know what I would be judging. Bring on the drugs, I had said... Bring on the poverty. Jesus, I'd grown up so privileged, it was pathetic. Bring on the dark side. Try to kill the meat you eat" (370). These girls face the darkness, face life, without hesitation and that is a kind of strength anyone can admire.
The way that this novel is structured keeps the pace fluid and the reader interested, as the timeline eventually brings you up to the present day and the chapters are separated by anecdotes of Lisa's experiences at hardcore concerts in California. These inserts may not seem important, but in reality they are the second reason why this novel matters. The first insert, as you have seen, is about a Black Flag show in which Lisa decides to show the world that she is made of tougher stuff than anyone would guess, stronger than anyone thinks. After tales of Social Distortion, Butthole Surfers and Circle Jerks, come The Skulls. After that show, Lisa knows the power that she wields over boys and men and invites all women to "Feel your might" (118). After The Skulls come the Dead Kennedys, and after them comes Sonic Youth. The Violent Femmes make Lisa feel raw, sober, and at that moment she knows that she needs more something and goes searching for it. More popular groups like Red Hot Chili Peppers, D.O.A. and Bad Religion make an appearance, as Lisa and Celeste fight their way from mosh pit to mosh pit, living on keg beer and desire. Because that was all these girls needed, music and each other. It fed them, kept them sane, gave them a reason to journey down the road not taken. What they did may be seen as immature, or a waste of all the time and effort spent on their educations, but this music gave these girls meaning and freedom and these inserts show that. In the final section Lisa reports from a Sex Pistols concert in London, 1977. She is never actually at the show, but for a moment she feels that she is. "And for a few seconds," she writes, "the room, in its unity, fills up with unadulterated joy. Only joy" (415).
The third and final reason why this novel matters is the friendship between Lisa and Celeste. I have already mentioned this, but now it is time to explain why a fictitious relationship between two people who don't actually exist is the most important reason why this novel needs to be read. I can sum it up in two words: unconditional love. Lisa and Celeste do not have a perfect friendship; they have disagreements, hurt feelings and jealousies. But what they do have is a love for each other that is so pure and so strong that it easily withstands those little problems and unites them together against bigger ones. It truly is Lisa and Celeste versus the world. Because from the first day they met it was decided, a duet they would be. And when the time came to drop their old lives and create new ones, it was done in tandem, without hesitation. They didn't need money, education, or a plan. They had each other and that was enough. Because life is full of ups and downs, disappointments and failures, but with a true friend by your side it is possible to get through anything, go anywhere, and live without regrets. Lisa states that Celeste is the only one she loves for sure, "without reservation" and that is a sentiment anyone can relate to if their best friend is their partner, their soul mate, their Celeste (318). Mine certainly is.
Pretty Little Dirty by Amanda Boyden contains sex, drugs, mistakes, and doesn't apologize for it. It tells the truth about seeking freedom through self-destruction, shows women living in a world of their own making. It is a middle finger to every person who told you to color inside the lines, and that the prettiest girls are your greatest competition. And while you may not agree with the actions of these two women, know that what they did isn't the point. It's the fact that they did something. They decided that their lives would be created by their choices, not the choices of others, and that there was more out there than what they had been brought up with. Lisa and Celeste chose what shaped them, changed them, and they did it together, side by side, a duo until the very end. This novel shows a friendship strong enough to withstand mosh pits, and bravery powerful enough to support a cross-country move. It is about having the guts to take your life into your own hands and that is why it matters.
Boyden, Amanda. Pretty Little Dirty. New York: Vintage Books (A Division of Random House, Inc.), 2006. 4, 99, 118, 231, 318, 370, 415. Print.
